Thanks to Christine for the title and for the loan of Agnes (who
reminds me a great deal of a pair of twin great-aunts of mine, except
that there's two of them!) and for the critique.
Alex floated naked in the middle of the great hall. He was soaking wet, giggling hysterically, and definitely not ready for bedtime. Fox, on foot and frustrated, pursued. "Alexander Fox Xanatos get down here this instant!"
"No." Alex stuck his tongue out at her.
"I think he takes after your side of the family." Xanatos observed, coming up behind his wife. "Alex, come to daddy ..."
"No!" Alex floated higher.
"Damn, Owen's stuck in that business meeting. Where's Lexington?" Xanatos muttered.
"Hi guys!" Elisa said brightly, stepping out of the elevator. "Bedtime, eh?" She took in the scene with an amused expression. "Heya Alex, wanna play chopper?" She held her arms open.
Elisa suddenly found herself with a wet, naked armful of two year old. She dutifully swung him around by his fingertips once, then handed the giggling baby over to Fox. "Good luck getting him to bed."
"He needs a cage." Fox grumbled. She slung the child over one shoulder and trooped off in the general direction of the nursery.
"An iron cage." Xanatos added, running a hand through his hair. "And I thought he was hard to keep track of when he started walking ..." He trailed off, frowning. "He was registered at an exclusive preschool before he was even born. I don't know what we're going to do -- the kid has no inhibitions about throwing his magic around." He shook his head, "Ah, well." He brightened. "Can't say the kid doesn't have talent."
"Talent." Elisa snickered, "Right."
Elisa found Goliath in the library, "Hi big guy." She padded up behind him, and rested a hand on his shoulders. "Watcha reading?"
"Asimov." Goliath lifted the book from his knee so she could read the title -- it was one of Asimov's non-fiction science books. "It is good to see you, Elisa."
"I've missed you. We've had mandatory overtime for the last month. The boss was not happy about all the time I've lost in the last year; she says if I miss any more work, she's going to have to take action." Elisa sighed in frustration. "I think I have the worst attendance record in the department."
Goliath draped an arm around her shoulders, sympathetic to the frustration in her voice. "I wish ..." He trailed off, leaving the thought unspoken.
"Damnit, you know, sometimes I wish Puck hadn't changed me back into a human." Elisa grumbled irritably. "It'd make the next family reunion kinda interesting, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about my job!"
Goliath chuffed in amusement, hearing the lack of total sincerity in her words. "And I have often wished I had remained human."
"Yeah. I could introduce you to Aunt Agnes with some hope of approval." Elisa chuckled. "C'mon, big guy. If wishes were horses, we'd be knee deep ..."
"What?" Goliath blinked at her, puzzled by the idiom.
Elisa chuckled and started to explain, then noticed a small figure in the doorway "Alex, aren't you supposed to be in bed?" At least he was decently clad in his jammies.
"Auntie 'lisa wanna be a gargoyle?" He said, brightly. "Goliath wanna be human?"
Too late, Elisa saw the delighted glint in Alexander's eyes. With a brilliant flash of insight, she had a nearly precognitive glimpse of what he had planned. "Oh ..." She started to voice an obscenity usually not used in front of small children.
There was a wrenching and a twisting, and Goliath rumbled, "... !@#!!" And snapped his mouth shut. "Goliath ..." Goliath gasped.
Elisa swayed, shaking her head, "Elisa ..."
"Soul transference! I'm gonna kill Puck!" Goliath managed to hit a tenor much higher than his bass. "Alexander, put us back NOW!" Goliath had acquired a faint New York accent.
"No." Alexander folded his arms and glared up at them. "Alexander, put us back please." Elisa -- who was now talking with a faint Scottish brogue -- said in a more reasonable tone of voice. Her voice was tinged only faintly with hysteria.
"No!" Alex repeated. He turned and ran.
"No!" Alexander sat on his big-boy bed, feet swinging over the edge, lower lip stuck out in a pout of stubborn refusal.
Elisa clenched her fists in frustration, then winced. Goliath had claws, something she kept forgetting. Goliath had claws, and a tail she'd tripped over twice, and wings and fangs and he was purple. And she was wearing his body -- she'd glanced in a mirror to confirm it. His brown eyes had stared back, wearing her fright.
"Alex, please put Elisa and Goliath into their correct bodies." Owen said, persuadingly.
"No!" Alex repeated.
Xanatos whispered to Elisa and Goliath, "He's got to learn he can't be doing this ..."
"Amen." Elisa muttered, "Can we bribe him?"
"No." Goliath said, firmly. "He can not be allowed to use his magic to bully others ..."
"The last thing we want is Alexander as a spoiled brat. Right." Elisa muttered. Her voice sounded strange to her ears -- deep, rumbling; it was Goliath's voice.
Goliath suddenly jumped, and snatched a small black object from "his" belt. He held it between his fingers as if it might explode, and lifted a questioning eyebrow in Elisa's direction.
Elisa snickered, and nearly bit her tongue when her laugh came out booming and deep. She grabbed the pager from Goliath -- who promptly snatched his hand back and hissed through blunt human teeth.
"Sorry." Elisa said.
Goliath inspected "his" hand; Elisa had inadvertently bruised it. "Do not forget I am far stronger than you are." He chided, as he rubbed the five slender fingers that had replaced his four taloned, beefy ones.
Elisa snorted, "Right, I'm the one who's going to be feeling that for the next few days, as soon as we convince Baby Wonder to put us back in our right bodies." She inspected the pager, "Aw, hell. Goliath, it's my boss! I'm late!" She took one step towards the door, and wailed in despair. "I can't go to work looking like this!"
Goliath glanced down at himself for about the twentieth time; he kept expecting people to run screaming. The only response he was getting as he hurried down the sidewalk was the occasional ogle by human men. He wasn't sure if he should be mortified about the looks he was getting, or just generally furious. He wanted to tear something apart, but he'd probably hurt Elisa's human body if he tried. His fingers were still tingling.
The cop guarding the front door of the station nodded, "Evening, Elisa."
"Evening." Goliath nodded.
"Bluestone's looking for you."
Goliath forced himself to smile, and said, "Where is he?"
"Squad room. Oh, and Chavez is looking for you."
"Thanks." Goliath entered the station.
~Squad room's down the hall three doors on the right~ Elisa supplied, in his ear. He wasn't venturing into her world totally unsupported; they were wearing their radios and she was lending him advise and the occasional snide comment.
He found the room, and Bluestone. Bluestone favored Goliath with a sunny smile that made Goliath want to either crawl under a rock in macho mortification, or deck Bluestone out of raw jealousy; how dare Bluestone look at Elisa like that!? Gargoyles were born to protect -- and tended to be protective of their mates. Even though he and Elisa had not yet ...
A sudden thought hit him. Sooner or later, if he was stuck in this form very long, he'd need to, well, undress. A fierce flush hit his cheeks.
"Elisa, you okay?"
"Bluestone," Goliath managed to do a credible imitation of his usual growl with Elisa's light voice, "I need to speak to you now and not here."
"Chavez is looking for you. Where have you been?"
"Speak of the devil." Bluestone stopped in his tracks, and turned to face their boss. "Yeah captain?"
"Not you." Chavez pointed an irritated finger at Goliath. "I warned you yesterday about your hours!"
~Tell her you had to walk. It's true.~ Elisa prompted over the radio.
"I had to walk. I couldn't drive the car." Goliath said. He couldn't drive, period, and a brief desire to learn had been tempered by the thought of what Elisa might do to him if he damaged her car. At the moment, she was bigger than he was.
Chavez gave him a suspicious look, started to say something, then sighed. "Elisa, get to work." She waved Elisa out the door.
"What's up?" Bluestone followed on Elisa's heels, a bit closer than Goliath cared for.
"Outside." Goliath said, shortly. He led the way out through the station.
"You okay?" Bluestone was perceptive; he rested a hand on 'Elisa's' shoulder. "Are you upset about something?"
Goliath forced himself not to step away. "Bluestone, I am not Elisa."
"... What?" Bluestone sounded as if he wasn't sure if he'd heard right.
Bluestone dropped his hand and stepped back about two feet. "What?!" His expression clearly said that Elisa had gone absolutely insane.
"Alexander has transferred my soul into Elisa's body and hers into mine."
"I ... see." Bluestone eyed his slight, exotically beautiful partner's body with distinct unease. "So -- you're Goliath and Goliath's Elisa and ... I see."
"Is this why you, I mean Elisa, I mean ... were late?"
"Alexander has recently learned the meaning of 'no'." Goliath said. "He is quite unwilling to transfer us back. Until we can persuade him otherwise, we appear to be stuck."
"This is a problem." Bluestone said.
~Yeah.~ Elisa agreed, in Goliath's ear.
"Look, I can cover for you; get out of here and try to get this, err, fixed." Bluestone said.
"Thank you, Bluestone."
"No problem." Bluestone started to squeeze 'Elisa's' shoulder, then caught himself and wiped his hand on his leg. "No problem at all."
~You could have taken the subway.~ Elisa said, ~There's money in my wallet.~
"I do not wish to do anything that would give us away." Goliath muttered back.
~Yeah, but it's three miles from the station to my apartment. And if I end up with blisters, it's your fault!~ Elisa grumbled. She was flying, somewhat nervously; she shadowed his path from above.
Goliath glanced upwards, but he couldn't see her. With a soft sigh, he hurried up the street. "Is this a shortcut?" He asked, gesturing at a dark alley.
~Yeah, but ...~
"Good." Goliath turned sharply one on heel, and stalked up the alley.
~... Goliath, that's not a bright idea.~
He didn't have time to respond; without warning, two very large thugs stepped out of the shadows. Goliath crouched, irritation on his face.
"Wallet." One of them said, imperiously.
Goliath wasn't about to give Elisa's wallet to either of them; he growled. The growl came out pitched somewhere above soprano; it was hardly intimidating. The muggers laughed incredulously, "Wallet!" The first one repeated, reaching for Goliath's wrist.
Goliath grabbed the man's arm, and put his full strength into a throw. Unfortunately, he was rather less than successful -- the thug stumbled forward, and then the man put his momentum into a smashing punch to Goliath's mouth. Darkness exploded across his vision, followed by hammering pain. Dimly, he was aware of falling to his knees.
Laughter rang in his ears. Harsh hands shoved him to the pavement. Tugged at his clothes.
Terror struck him -- sheer, unadulterated terror. Irrelevantly, he realized that this was why Elisa carried a gun; that he could have pulled the gun. He fought, and discovered that against two large men, his struggles were ineffectual. He roared, and the roar came out as a scream ...
But his own roar rang in his ears. Something large, with glowing eyes, bolted from the sky. Both thugs were ripped off him, thrown through the air. They hit a wall and lay unmoving, bleeding, broken. Elisa, wearing his snarl like her own, offered him a hand up. "Are you okay?"
He swallowed, and nodded. He was shaking, he realized. He'd never been defeated in a fight so easily; had never faced such terror before.
"C'mon, I think I've gotten good enough at this flying thing to carry you." Elisa slid her arms beneath him and lifted him up. "Let's stop by my apartment; my nose is bleeding."
Goliath touched a finger to his upper lip. She was right; red blood covered his face.
Elisa handed Goliath a washrag packed with ice. "Hold that to your lip; it'll stop the swelling. Did you see their faces when I came out of the sky?"
"They were somewhat startled." Goliath growled. He touched the ice to his lip and eyed her over bundle of ice and terrycloth.
She sobered. "But you could have been hurt."
Goliath's look of sour agreement was perfectly transmuted onto her features. "Aye." He agreed, with a light growl. "I could have been."
Elisa snorted, "Now you know how I feel every time the cavalry comes to the rescue. It's a perfect mix of humiliation and relief."
"You don't need much rescuing." Goliath snorted. "I could have been killed."
Elisa raised an eyebrow and nodded agreement. "Yeah. I was scared I was going to lose you. You're not used to fighting in a human body -- you're used to using your size to your advantage." She could see the fear in his expression; he was far more frightened than he was willing to admit.
Goliath started to scratch his head; his hand encountered hair several degrees more silken than his own, and he balled his fist in irritation. "I had not realised how fragile humans were."
Elisa folded her arms and rumbled, "I am not fragile."
Goliath regarded her for a long moment with more respect in his expression than usual. "Perhaps not."
"Goliath, it's almost dawn. We're not going to be able to make Wyvern tonight. Looks like you're finally going to get to see that sunrise."
He nodded shortly, "We could ask Xanatos to bring Alexander here."
"We don't know if the soul transference would work if you, I mean me, was stone. And anyway," she smiled at him, "have fun. Go see the city like you haven't ever seen it before. Go see the museums and monuments and libraries. Get something to eat in a restaurant. See a movie. You might not ever get a chance like this before. I think," she laughed, "I can trust you to stay out of dark alleys, and the only thing I regret is that I can't go with you."
"It's too dangerous." Goliath managed a credible growl.
"Nonsense." Elisa's tone indicated that she'd thought this through. "I want a full report tonight." With those words, she turned, and went outside. Goliath followed, fighting a lump in his throat; he'd never realized how deeply Elisa trusted him. Under other circumstances, perhaps he would have kissed her -- the thought crossed his mind, and then he realized that would mean kissing himself. That was too much weirdness even for Goliath.
Elisa favored him with an impish grin, and then assumed a fierce pose -- fiercer than even he would have normally attempted. Talons spread, fangs bared, wings flared, she faced the rising sun ... and at the last moment, she giggled, and froze with a grin on her face.
Goliath rested 'his' forehead against her arm. "Ach, Elisa. Such a gift you give me. Would that I could accept ..." He didn't dare do as she suggested. What if he met someone she knew, or found trouble, or ... he could think of a myriad of things that could go wrong. He resolved to stay in her apartment.
That was when the sun pulled above the horizon, and cast across the rooftop. Amazed, he turned to face the sunrise; he closed his eyes as golden warm light washed over the roof. Against Elisa's silken dark hair, it was hot; a friendly heat that he'd never even imagined.
Astounded, he walked to the edge of the roof. The sun cast long dawn shadows over the city; the sky was a blue he'd never seen before. Puffy clouds tinted with the remains of a brilliant sunrise floated on a cool breeze. Perhaps ... perhaps he could go to the park, and walk in the sunlight. How much trouble could he get into if he just went to the park and came straight back?
The sunlight pulled at him. The city was different, more different than he'd ever imagined, under the bright light. The shadows were gone; there seemed to be no place for evil to lurk or darkness to hide. The sun seemed to chase the terrors of the night away; to bring out the bright colors and the beauty of the world.
Feeling a thousand years younger, Goliath cracked a grin. "It is beautiful, Elisa." He said, glancing up at the statue of himself. Still smiling, he dropped through the apartment window and headed for the door. He would go to the park, and he would live this day. Elisa was expecting him to. He reached for the door, opened it ...
And a scream of surprise made him jump into a defensive crouch. For half a second, he thought he'd startled an unsuspecting human with his gargoyle form.
"... Elisa! You scared me!" An old woman clutched her chest dramatically.
Goliath's heart skipped a beat. Worse than scaring someone, he'd met someone who knew Elisa! The woman was black; she was older than the hills themselves and wore polyester slacks, a cardigan, and long strands of beads. She had a shopping bag slung from one wrist, and an enormous pocket book hanging off the opposite shoulder.
"Well?" The woman said, "Don't you have a kiss for your Aunt Agnes?"
By the first gargoyle egg, the old harridan was family! Goliath swallowed, and obediently pecked the woman on the cheek. "Hello, Aunt Agnes, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
The woman clicked her tongue, "And what happened to your face?"
"I got punched." Goliath said, truthfully.
"Hah! One of these days, your father is going to regret pushing you to be a cop ... anyway, I found some clothes in Derek's size at a swap meet. I was going to drop them off at his place, but his neighbors said he hadn't lived there in over a year!" She sounded excited. "And he missed the family reunion and he hasn't called me in forever and I think something fishy's going on." She concluded. "He isn't in trouble or something, is he?"
Goliath swallowed; his mouth was dry. "Errr ... he moved in with some friends, to save on expenses." It was the first excuse that came to mind.
"Gah. The boy must spend money like a sieve leaks if he can't afford to live on his salary. He's a helicopter pilot! Like a sieve!" She snorted. "Well, then, I'm sure he'll be glad to have the clothes I found. You'd think he would have told the family if he was going to move -- honestly, I swear you kids behave like little wild Indians half the time. No wonder you can't find a decent man."
Goliath nearly bit his tongue; he wasn't sure if he should laugh aloud or roar with fury. He settled on, "I'll give the clothes to Derek." He vaguely remembered Elisa mentioning an Aunt Agnes a few times; she'd said something about being very glad that Agnes did not live in New York.
"I'm sure they'll fit; I had Russell try them on and Russell's the same size. Actually, I got them for Russell first, but Russell didn't want them." She sounded aggrieved. Then she brightened. "Say, Macy's is having a sale; you want to go with me?" She thrust an ad at Goliath.
Goliath glanced at the ad, and felt his cheeks go warm. The ad was for Macy's, sure enough; the front page had a number of scantily clad human woman parading across it. Gargoyle females usually wore the bare minimum, but this was differant; these were human women and they were dressed in their underwear! "Uh ..."
"Good!" She turned and marched off.
There was nothing, really, to do but follow. Goliath folded the scandalous advertisement and shoved it ruthlessly into the pocket of Elisa's jacket before pursuing Agnes.
The absolute last thing in the world that Goliath wanted to do was go to a sale at Macy's with Aunt Agnes. She didn't give him a choice; she'd marched down to her car and hustled him to the store before he had a chance to even find out what was actually on sale.
Aunt Agnes led the way through the isles to the Woman's section, and then, with unerring accuracy, she headed for the lingerie section -- the subject of the ad, evidently. "Here, this looks like your size. If you ever get a boyfriend, he'd like this." Agnes held a tiny scrap of black lace up for Goliath's inspection.
Several thoughts passed though Goliath's mind, foremost that Elisa's boyfriend would certainly like to see her wearing that, and also that he'd die of mortification before he actually tried the bra on.
Aunt Agnes made an amused noise. "Men like such things."
"Err, yes." Goliath agreed. For a very brief moment, he thought about purchasing it. Then he pictured Elisa's reaction. She'd kill him.
"Your mother let you grow up into such a tomboy. You're twenty- eight, Elisa. Pretty soon, you're gonna be too old to find a man."
"I'm not worried." Goliath said, very firmly and with such conviction that Agnes changed the subject.
Three hours later, Aunt Agnes had a huge shopping bag filled with clothing for herself. Goliath had managed to escape with merely a single sweater, which Agnes had declared an 'obscene bargain' and thrust upon him; she'd squawked in horror when he'd tried to put it back. It had appeared that Agnes was going to make a scene over the sweater, which was the last thing Goliath wanted.
"Go try it on." She gave him a push in the general direction of the lady's dressing room.
Goliath entered the dressing room with his eyes scrunched closed and his heart thumping in his chest. He could almost hear his rookery mothers berating him for being a peeping tom. But fortunately, it turned out that the dressing room was divided into little cubicles. He hadn't known what to expect.
He found an empty cubicle, and pulled the sweater on over 'his' t- shirt. He thought that it fit; it was a gawdawful furry orange thing, but the tag said '9 Dollars' and he supposed Elisa would understand if he had to purchase it to appease her great-aunt. He found Aunt Agnes, who had returned to the lingerie section. "Did you ever even try that Wonderbra on?" She asked.
"Wonderbra?" Goliath asked, brightly.
Agnes heaved an aggrieved sigh, and changed the subject to the OJ Simpson trial. And she managed to keep the subject going all the way to the checkout lane, where they got in line behind a red-haired woman.
Goliath hadn't seen anyone with that particular shade of hair in over a year; still, he didn't recognize the woman until she turned around. "YOU!" Demona hissed.
Oh, yeah. Demona turned into a human during the day. He knew this. His jaw dropped anyway. "What are you doing here?" He whispered.
"Elisa, who's this?" Agnes said, brightly.
"Nice sweater." Demona said, with perfect purred sarcasm. "Trying for the furry pumpkin look? I think you're built too much like a boy for that."
Agnes gasped in horrified shock, "Elisa, who is this?"
Demona answered, "This is the woman who stole away my lover. Who the hell are you?"
Agnes clutched her beads and stared at her 'niece', "Elisa?! What's this all about?"
Goliath snarled, "She didn't 'steal' me away!" That comment earned him triple confused looks from Demona, Aunt Agnes, and the checkout cashier. He reorganized his syntax, and tried again, "I didn't 'steal' him away, Demona. Any love I ... he ... had for you ..."
"Oooh!" Demona cut Goliath off.
Agnes recovered first, and said smartly, "With looks like yours, honey, you must've been real trash if my scrawny tomboy of a niece could steal away your man." Having defended the family name, she clutched her handbag and looked down her nose at Demona.
Demona balled her fists as if she was going to start a fight right then and there. Goliath crouched; Agnes lifted her handbag. The cashier said in a bored tone, "Take it outside, ladies."
Demona's eyes flickered towards the bulge under Goliath's arm -- he was still wearing Elisa's gun. Outnumbered and outgunned, Demona beat a strategic retreat, "Watch yourself tonight, human." She spat in the general direction of Elisa's foot, snatched her receipt from the cashier, flipped Elisa a bird, and stomped away.
Goliath watched her go, shaking his head. He'd have to warn Elisa to watch herself for the next few nights.
Agnes chuckled, "I doubt it was much of a contest between you and her."
Goliath snorted his agreement. "It wasn't."
By the time that Goliath got rid of Agnes, he was foggy with exhaustion. The sun was low on the horizon; Goliath padded down the sidewalk, yawning. "Coffee." He ordered, at a sidewalk hot dog stand; he blinked sleepily and stretched.
"Anything else?" The vendor asked.
Goliath ordered a hot dog; a part of him was still oddly surprised at being able to carry on a simple conversation with someone.
"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" The vendor said.
"I haven't seen a day like this in a long time." Goliath said, truthfully. A long time was his entire lifetime ... the day was waning fast; if they convinced Alexander to swap them back into their bodies tonight, this could be the last time he'd ever see a day.
The vendor nodded, "You have to appreciate the nice days when they happen, eh? Oh, that'll be three-fifty."
Goliath set Elisa's wallet down on the counter, and counted out the money. "Are you here often?"
"This is my corner." The vendor affirmed. "Have a good one."
"A good what?" Goliath blinked.
"A good day, ma'am." The vendor said, easily.
Goliath nodded, and headed up the street. He'd gotten two blocks away when a voice shouted, "Detective!"
Goliath turned belatedly; he wasn't used to being called, 'Detective'. "Yes?"
"Your wallet! You forgot your wallet!"
"Oh. Thank you." Goliath said, feeling his face flush. Elisa would've killed him.
"No problem." The man grinned. "I've got a weakness for pretty ladies."
"Err, I see."
"I don't mean any insult by that." The man's face fell. "You looked like you've had a rough day. I didn't want to make it any worse."
Goliath nodded, "Thank you for returning my wallet."
"No problem, ma'am." Whistling, hands in his pockets, the vendor headed back towards his stand.
"'Pretty lady'." Goliath growled, and hurried in the other direction as fast as he could.
"Aunt Agnes was here?" Elisa said, in absolute dismay; she twitched Goliath's tail and paced the living room. "Oh, no! Did she suspect ..."
"Worse, she met Demona." Goliath covered his face with his hands.
Elisa snickered when he'd filled her in to the point of recognizing Demona, "And who won?" Her eyes were twinkling.
"I think your aunt made the most points." Goliath said, tactfully. He didn't think Elisa wanted to hear her aunt's (erroneous) opinion of her romantic potential. "Shall we return to the castle and see if Alexander is in a better mood?"
"Yeah." Elisa said; she handed Goliath her radio headset. "I haven't slept that well in ages, but I had errands planned for this afternoon. I don't want to make a habit of this."
Goliath nodded agreement. Fifteen minutes later, they were cruising over the city. "You're getting good at flying." Goliath complimented Elisa; it had only occurred to him after she'd jumped that he had no wings to catch himself if she were to fail.
She shrugged, "I seem to have gotten some of your reflexes in the exchange."
Goliath's headset suddenly squawked about a bank robbery in progress. He jerked his head sideways, startled.
"What?" Elisa said.
He relayed what he'd heard to her. "... That's right below us."
"My radio's got a setting to pick up police frequencies too." Elisa explained. "It must have gotten bumped over. That location's right below us."
"There's the van." Goliath recognized the vehicle from the description he'd heard.
Elisa started to stoop. A blast of turbulent air tumbled her end over end. A spotlight struck them full on.
"Oh no! It's a police chopper!" Elisa stretched out in frantic flight.
"Go down! Go down!" Goliath urged, "I've lost pursuit before in among the skyscrapers!"
Elisa snapped, "We need to tell 'em to break off the pursuit. Lemme see the control box."
"They'll recognize my voice!" She flew flat and straight, holding "Goliath" visibly before her.
Goliath hastily yanked the controls of the headset from his belt, and held it out to her. Elisa held him awkwardly in her arms, and dialed the correct frequency. "Go ahead, they'll hear you now!"
Goliath hastily improvised, "Break off your pursuit! Break off! He's with me!"
"Darn it, you have an accent." Elisa snarled, "Give 'em my badge number." She pulled the red jacket up to reveal her badge, clipped to the inner lining.
"This is Elisa Maza badge number ..." He rattled the numbers off, trying to flatten his brogue into something resembling Elisa's accent, "Break off your pursuit! I'm with the gargoyle!"
"Do you require assistance!?"
"No!" Goliath said, emphatically. The helicopter was too close to them for comfort; the downwash was driving Elisa towards the ground. She didn't have the flying skills to begin to compensate. "I'm on assignment! Go after the bank robber!" Goliath improvised wildly.
"You should be an actor." Elisa chuckled.
The chopper finally broke off, and headed after the white van. Elisa followed, "What do you say we work on your PR? The nearest squad car's four or five minutes away." She pinned her wings back, and landed on the roof of the van, which promptly swerved sideways.
Ripping the roof of a van off one-handed (she still had Goliath tucked in her other arm) was an exhilarating feeling; she stuck her head inside, and snarled, "STOP THIS VEHICLE!"
The robbers stopped.
Elisa hopped off, set Goliath down, and growled in the deepest growl she could muster, "Everyone out of the vehicle. NOW!"
They tumbled out, gibbering. There were four robbers.
"Assume the position!" Elisa snarled.
Elisa efficiently frisked all four, cuffed them with the handcuffs from Goliath's belt, and read them their rights -- and did it all in the spotlight of a police chopper. As she was finishing up, the first squad car arrived on the scene. "Looks like I gotta run. Meet me at the castle." Elisa told Goliath, as she retreated into the shadows of a dark alley.
"Did that monster just arrest those guys?" Morgan stammered, joining Goliath.
"Yes, she did." Goliath agreed; he was smiling faintly.
"Yes, she is."
"She ...? Man, if that thing's female, I'd hate to meet her mate!"
It would be at least a few years before Morgan found out why 'Elisa' laughed so hard.
Elisa ran a hand through her hair, "Any luck with convincing Baby Wonder to put us back?" She asked Owen.
Owen nodded shortly, "We have been consulting child psychology books, and I think we might have something that will work."
Goliath said, "I hope very much that it works."
"Yeah." Elisa echoed.
Fox and Xanatos entered the room; Xanatos had Alexander balanced on his shoulders. He set Alex down, and Fox asked brightly, "Alexander, which would you rather do? Take a bath or put Elisa and Goliath back in their right bodies?"
"Elisa and Gawy-ath." Alex said, somberly, and did a Magic.
"That," Elisa said in her normal voice, "Was altogether too easy. C'mon, Goliath. I got about five minutes before I gotta go to work." She slipped her arm through his. They walked together in the general direction of the lobby elevator. "You know, Goliath. I have just one question."
"And what is that?"
She held up an ad for women's lingerie, "Why was this in my pocket?"