More Stuff from Mists ... Sorry for the delay, folks. There's some changes coming (Hi Jill!) that will be announced shortly. Please respond to leva@primenet.com. Top Twelve Things That We Might Like To See On Gargoyles, But Get Over It 'Cause We're Not Gonna: -- VHRD53D@prodigy.com (MS DIANA R FLYNN) 12. Owen singing karioke. 11. Jackal or Hyena making a mistake and installing stapleguns instead of lasers. 10. Xanatos or Owen changing dirty diapers. 9. Dr. Sevarious in therapy. DR. S.: What can I say? I have a gift for genetics. Is it so wrong to rip apart the lives of a few insignificant people just for my own personal kicks? SHRINK: I have a feeling that we'll be working together for a loooooong time. 8. Elisa and Goliath having a "normal life." ELISA: Hi honey, I'm back from my shift. How was patrol? 7. Demona and Macbeth going for marriage counseling. THERAPIST: For this relationship to work, you're both going to have to WANT it to work. DEMONA: Hmm... No. (Rips doctor's head off.) MACBETH: Again? Decaf, Demona, decaf. 6. Lexington getting a blind date over the internet. ...that turns out to be a girl gargoyle from the Japanese clan. 5. Elisa drinking tea with Lois Lane and Natalie from Forever Knight and discussing the hardships of overprotective nonhuman boyfriends. 4. The goons beating the living crud out of the Accursed Multicolored Ones from Fox. (You know who I'm talking about. They occupy the same time slot as Gargoyles in some areas.) 3. Or better yet, the goons using a life-size Barney doll for target practice. 2. Brooklyn and Broadway doing air guitar and singing "Wild Thing." And The Number One Thing That's No Way Gonna Happen, But We Can Wish Can't We?: 1. The Wyrd Sisters in matching chicken suits. Top Seven Things We Don't KnowAbout The Illuminati (And Don't Want To): 7. Their chief executive for the past five centuries running is none other than Preston Vogul. ...and here we thought he was just some dark haired Owen wannabe. 6. ...but the ones that are REALLY calling the shots are that pair of lab mice he keeps on his desk. VOGUL: What do you want to do tonight? SMARTMOUSE: The same thing we do every night. Try to take over the- wait a minute. We already took over the world. LESS-THAN-SMARTMOUSE: Why don't we order Chinese? Narf! SMARTMOUSE: Excellent idea. Order Chinese, Vogul. VOGUL: Sounds great sir! 5. Ruling the world is only second on their list. Their primary objective is to find out why people park on a driveway and drive on a parkway. OR to find out what makes hot chocolate get that icky skin on it if you leave it out too long. 4. At their last club gathering, Owen spiked the punch. You'd be surprised how well Hacker can sing karioke. 3. They've lost their secret society baseball game to the Stonemasons for the past six years. 2. The club was origionally started by a pair of Roman yuppies named Brendonius and Margotia. 1. The cool pyramid logo was actually counterfeited off an ancient Greek soda can. Top Ten Things That Doncha' Wish Happened On This Show?: 10. Elisa kisses Gol- wait a minute, they did that already. Sorry. 9. PUCK/OWEN: Alright now, little Alex, I want you to picture Demona as a small blue creature known as a "smurf." 8. Baby Alexander spits up all over Owen. 7. MATT: Elisa! I've just discover that the leaders of the Illuminati are a pair of yuppies named Brendon and Margot! 6. There's a sky shot WITHOUT a full moon. How often is the moon full in Manhatten? 5. Someone realizes that there are scorched robot parts falling out of the sky. 4. Something weird happens, and no asks just what sorcery this is. 3. There was a scene of Xanatos and Fox laughing manaiacally in unison. 2. There's a fight scene where Bronx DOESN'T make a last minute dive to save someone who was about to get blasted, shredded or otherwise come down with a bad case of dead. 1. Those annoying yuppies realize that this is the fiftieth time that people with wings, claws, and no fashion sense have saved their snooty butts. Top Fourteen Best Lines Ever Spoken On Gargoyles: 14. Xanatos: I guess it's no use trying to get a cab. -City Of Stone Part II 13. Anyone: NOOOOOOOO! -Too Many Eps To Count 12. Evil Lex: All gone. Bye-bye. (Heh heh.) Sorry about that. - Future Tense 11. Angela: I thought you said you flew a helicopter once! Lexington: Yeah, but I kinda crashed it first. -Turf 10. Lex: Don't worry, (snicker) I'll show you guys what to do. Brooklyn: You and what star fleet? -Her Brother's Keeper 9. Brooklyn: You'd be surprised how often that move works. -Gathering Part II 8. Broadway: Yes. The sun. Can you see it, Goliath? It's beautiful. -Future Tense 7. Savarious: If this gets any more saccharine, I'm going to stick a finger down my throat. -Monsters 6. Morgan: That's it; I'm off sugar. -Temptation. 5. Puck: Humans love a battle hearty. So does Puck, come on, let's party. -The Mirror. 4. Xanatos: It's ALIVE!! ALIVE!! (I've always wanted to say that.) - Reawakening. 3. Elisa: You mean you thought I was ugly? Goliath: Well, I, uh- Careful, updraft! -The Mirror 2. Broadway: Feel the air currents! Like with your wings! Broadway: Yeah, use the force Lex. -Her Brother's Keeper And without a doubt, the Best Line Ever Spoken On Gargoyles is: 1. Angela: AND STOP CALLING ME ANGIE!! -Turf * * * * * Hi, rookery siblings! I'm looking for bumpersticker-type slogans for the Save The Gargoyles Campaign. (This, for those of you not in the know, is a campaign dedicated to preserving the integrity of the show and preventing it from being "dumbed down" in its 3rd season, as it is presently in danger of becoming so.) Send suggestions to . I'd also like to encourage all of you to sign the petition at Gorebash's web page [www.capecod.net/~etribou/garg_s8.html]. This will be sent to the people at Buena Vista/Disney, and who knows? they might even read it... Thanks. Clear skies and high winds to you all. --Batya "The Toon" Levin