AVALON MISTS: A momentary escape from reality. Issue #7 Part A First Released: Wednesday, April 3, 1996 ****Filksongs**** "The New Gargoyles Theme" Adapted from the "Anamaniacs" theme --Brian (bmacdona@atcon.com) Lets take the Gargoyles to the max. They don't like to step on tacs. So just sit back and relax While Owen pays income tax. They're Gargoyles to the max. So come join the rookery brothers And Data's cat named Spot. Just for fun they run around And bust up crime a lot. They sleep up in the tower Until daytime it is not. Then they cut loose And then vamoose And now you know the plot. They're gargoyles to the max Bronx is cute And Blueston yaks. Broadway packs away the snacks While Bill Clinton plays the sax. They're gargoyles to the max. Meet Xanatos and Fox who want to rule the universe. The mutates flock together, Puck-man zaps them with a curse. MacBeth hunts Demona, While Magus chants a verse. The writers flipped The Avalon scrips Throw the plot into reverse. They're gargoyles to the max. They've got Trek stars in contracts. They don't like to step on tacs, They don't wear any slacks. They're Gargoyles Bad guys plans they foil Brooklyn's tounge's a spring coil Gargoyles to the max! ****Top Ten List**** "Top Ten Reasons the Fey Are Annoying" --Joseph Valicenti (josephv@awod.com) 10) They're always floating in your face 9) They always speak in riddles 8) They are worse than Lawyers with all the turns and twists in the Laws 7) They could really use a sun tan 6) No one can ever remember which name goes to which Weird Sister 5) Whats with all those incantations??? Just cast the spell and be done with it! 4) Everytime the rent is due you have to fight them 3) Haircuts, people....Haircuts 2) They always have to make a dramatic entrance And the number one thing that makes the Fey annoying is: 1) Looks like they ripped off Clark Kent's secret identity idea. ****Fanfic**** "Strange Days, Weird Nights" --MaryK (Starr@nando.net) "Run!" Arturo yelled. Quinn, Wade, and Rembrandt took one glance behind and took off running, fear of their pursuer giving them almost supernatural speed. Quinn fumbled for the timer, opening up their slide on a nearby wall. The four shoved past each other to be the first to slide, eventually sorting it out so that they all could squeeze into the glowing portal. The portal swirled to a close behind them, then disappeared, nothing left to show it's previous existence except for the sorrowful look on the monster's face as it sat down sulkily, whining through a fierce-looking white nose positioned on a purple muzzle. It gave an almost-human sigh, then returned the way it had come from on stocky purple legs, it's thick tail dragging limply on the ground behind. On the other side of the slide, Rembrandt let out a deep breath, eying the closing portal behind them. "Since when was the world animated?" he grumbled, looking down at his hand, which was outlined in a simple black line. The cute little drawing beside him twisted towards him, her eyes flickering for a second. "Not only that, it's not the best animation. Where are we, exactly?" Maxamillion Arturo tilted his head upwards, looking up at the skyscrapers surrounding them. "It seems we are in an animated version of our New York city." "Um. guys." The badly drawn trio turned to look over at Rembrandt, whose eyes had widened much farther than they could have in the Real World. "What?" Quinn asked, glancing worriedly in the direction Remy was staring, but seeing nothing. "Did anyone else happen to look up a few seconds ago? Because I have a feeling that shadow wasn't a bird." The Sliders craned their necks to look above, but all they could see was a backlit clockface that sat far above their heads, on the police station that they were standing by. There was a movement from above, and a dark shadow slid past the full moon. "Bats?" Arturo said uncertainty, looking to the others. "No." Wade said slowly, a smile breaking on her face. "Gargoyles. It seems my show just created its own alternate reality." * * * * * "Lord, What Fools ...!" --Jill Morrison, (morrisjm@sbu.edu) "Goliath, I have someone I think you ought to meet." He put down his book and looked at her in puzzlement. Meet someone? When they tried so hard to keep themselves concealed? But Elisa was a member of his clan in all but birth; he trusted her. "Who, Elisa?" "I have a friend who works for WNEW. The television station? I thought perhaps you'd like to speak with him." His mouth dropped open; he stared at her. She looked back, expression perfectly innocent. Behind him, he heard the three young ones pause in an arguement, and even Hudson muted the TV. "Why?" "Oh, well ..." She pulled a stool up behind her, sat down. "You guys have been here over a year now, and you've done the city a lot of good. I thought perhaps you'd like to take some credit for it. You guys could be celebrities!" He was stone, and dreaming? Was that it? He turned to glance at the others. The boys were listening calmly, no expressions on their faces. Hudson looked the tiniest bit amused. Amused! "And when ..." he asked her carefully, "do you suggest I do this?" "How about right now? He's waiting downstairs, with a camera crew and everything!" He stared at her in utter amazement, looked at Hudson, at Brooklyn, Broadway, Lexington and even Bronx. Then back to her. The look on his face must have been absolutely too much ... because she broke helplessly into laughter. "April Fool, Goliath!" "Wha ..." Lexington snickered, then exploded in laughter as helplessly as Elisa. His rookery brothers joined him, and even Hudson chuckled. Goliath exchanged a look of confusion with Bronx. A fine thing it was when the clan leader was reduced to the same level of understanding as the clan "watchdog" ... but at least Elisa seemed to have given up this strange and mad idea of him talking to a reporter. "It's a custom, Goliath ... apparently just a human one," She explained, still wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "It's the first day of April - April Fool's Day - and people play jokes like that on their friends. I'm sorry if I started you." "There was a fool, once, at Castle Wyvern. I did not like him." He sounded disgruntled, and knew it. But then again, he never could stay angry with Elisa for long. She smiled, and touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I thought perhaps you'd already heard of it, this morning on the news or from the boys ..." Brooklyn nodded. "They mentioned it this morning on TV, Goliath, and Lex looked it up. You were down in the library ..." He grunted. "No harm done." Except that brief moment when he had seriously doubted his sanity... "I have to go now, Matt and I are on patrol ... are you coming?" When he nodded, Elisa glanced at the trio, whispering and snickering among themselves, and leaned over to speak quietly to him. "I think that they're planning a surprise for Matt, so don't be startled. I don't know exactly what it is, myself ... but they really don't have many people they can trick, and Hudson's already on to them. They've only got about four hours until midnight." Goliath nodded again, appreciating the chance she offered to save his dignity this time ... even if Matt Bluestone paid the price. "I will not." She flashed him a smile, waved to the boys and Hudson, petted Bronx, and turned to go. "Elisa?" The detective paused. "Yes?" "You dropped something." She glanced down out of reflex, then shot him a dirty look. "April Fool." But unbeknowst to them, indeed to anyone, the biggest trickster of them all prepared to play the biggest trick of them all ... ~ Either I mistake your shape and making quite, / Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite / Called Robin Goodfellow ... ~ "... and so, this friend of mine in the FBI, he thinks I'm really onto something with the Illuminati, and ..." Elisa nodded absently, tuning out Matt Bluestone's conspiracy of the day with practiced ease. She was a little bit ashamed of it ... but she _was_ driving, after all. "Elisa? Hel-lo?" "Hmmm? What, Matt?" The redhead leaned back in his seat with a mock-hurt, slightly triumphant grin. "I bet you didn't hear a word I said." "Ummm ... yes I did." "What, then?" "The Illuminati." "Ha. Get more specific than that." "Uhhh ..." She took a stab in the dark. "Your friend in the FBI. The alien guy." His confused look told her she'd guessed right, and smiling, she glanced out the window. She couldn't see Goliath, not even his shadow in the moonlit streets ... but she knew he was there. Matt read her glance correctly. "He out there tonight?" "Yes." "That's good. Full moon tonight ... people do strange things." "In this city, do they really need an excuse?" "No, I guess not. But I think the Illuminati hold their meetings on full moon nights ..." A shadow briefly crossed his face, and he glanced at his watch. Elisa, her eyes on the road, missed it. "... you know, ... "full moon" ... "illumination" ... "Illuminati" ..." And then there was something in the road before them. Elisa had a quick impression of white hair, cursed, and yanked the steering wheel aside, hoping vainly that she'd miss whomever it was ... Matt was thrown up against the door, jolted out of his monologue ... And they both blanked out. ~ Fetch me that flower; the herb I showed thee once. / The juice of it on sleeping eyelids laid / Will make man or woman madly dote / Upon the next live creature that it sees. ~ When Elisa's car swerved suddenly in the middle of the street as if avoiding something he could not see, Goliath instantly folded his wings and dove. Oddly enough, it almost immediately righted itself and pulled over to the side, far quicker then away human should have recovered ... Heedless of his conspicuous state, he reached out to rip the driver-side door off its hinges, if that was what it took make sure that Elisa was alright - only to see Elisa pick her head up from her arms (for all the world as if she'd been sleeping) and blink at him. She recovered almost immediately, and glanced around at the street, motioning him to take to the air. He gave her a last look to be certain she was safe, and complied. Matt stirred just as she was turning around to look at him, yawned, and opened his eyes. He looked straight at her. "Are you alright?" "Uh ... huh." And he kept looking, the intensity of his gaze making her uncomfortable. "Did you get any look at who ... what ... was in the road? Do you have any idea what happened?" "Ummm ... no. No, I didn't see anything." He looked back at the street as if the mystery obstacle was still there; she felt oddly relieved. "I feel like ... like I've just slept for an entire night. What was that?" "I don't know." She started the car again ... odd, how had it gotten so neatly pulled over and shut off? ... and glanced out the window again, up into the night sky... The sudden blare of the radio startled her. "Detectives Maza and Bluestone ..." static "...call at Xanatos Aerie..." more static "...intruder..." The Aerie? She hit the siren, peeled smoothly out into the street and hit the gas. Perhaps Matt'd been right, after all ... this was indeed turning out to be a night of strange things. Elisa glanced at him. He was staring at her again, as if he'd never seen her before. _Very_ strange. He'd never noticed how beautiful she was before. They'd been partners for some months. He trusted her ... and she'd told him about the gargoyles. Granted, he'd kind of trapped her into it, but ... What could he do about this sudden revelation? Matt reached up to rub his eyes; they itched, tearing as if he'd gotten something in them ... ~ And drop the liquor of it in her eyes. / The next thing then she waking looks upon, / Be it on lion, bear, or wolf, or bull, / On meddling monkey, or on busy ape, / She shall pursue it with the soul of love. ~ It was doubtful if David Xanatos even realized what day it was. April first, yes ... but surely not All Fool's Day. Xanatos had _never_ considered himself a fool of any sort. Nevertheless, he was sitting at his desk, frowning at the latest Genutech reports, when he heard the "click" of a window latch, and felt the sudden early-spring breeze on the back of his neck. In a split second, he was crouching on the other side of the desk, wishing that he'd had the presence of mind to lunge for the gun in the upper right drawer ... For Demona stepped out of the window. She held a long, wickedly curving knife in one hand ... but looked oddly bemused, rubbing at her eyes with the other hand. No matter ... it was surely a trick of some sort. ~ Owen, where are you when I need you? ~ He gambled ... and stood up. Talk your way out of it, David ... "I must say, this is a most unexpected surprise. To what do I owe the honor?" She blinked at him, as if she didn't recognize him. Hardly the reaction he'd expected. "Well, Demona? What do you want?" He'd seen many expressions on the female gargoyle's face: rage, jealousy, calculation, surprise, even sadness. But never the emotion that blossomed on her face at that moment. Complete and total joy. And truly told ... it frightened him _much_ more than any of the others would have. ~ What thou see when thou dost wake, / Do it for thy true love take; / Love and languish for his sake ... ~ The Aerie was oddly quiet; after that report of an intruder, Elisa had expected ... more. Trouble at the Aerie was _never_ quiet ... She hunched her shoulders as they stood, waiting, at the door ... she could still feel Bluestone's eyes on her, little, sidewards glances he must have thought she didn't see. What was wrong with the man, anyway? Nobody came to the door, and finally, she shrugged. "I'm going to go back and call the station. Maybe we understood ..." "Uh, sure. Right. I'll wait here ... for you ..." His gaze trailed her all the way down to her car ... and just as she ducked into it, the door opened. He turned. It wasn't Owen Burnett, for once, but Fox Xanatos. And she too looked dazed, as if she'd just woken ... Then she saw him, and that confused expression fell to a sly look that would've done her namesake proud. Elisa heard the door and Matt's voice, and gave up on her futile efforts to reach the station - it seemed something was wrong with her radio. She ducked back out of the car, closing the door, and turned. Her partner ws still staring at her. Fox Xanatos was staring at him ... and the seductive look on her face was changed not at all by the fact that she was several months pregnant. *You know, I don't think I've ever seen black leather maternity wear before...* "Mrs. Xanatos, is there some sort of trouble?" "Hmmm? Ah ... no. No, I don't think so..." Elisa waited. "Mrs. Xanatos? Fox?" The woman ripped her gaze off the oblivious Matt and glared at Elisa. "What?" *What's going on here? Patience, Maza, patience ...* "Could we have a look around, please?" Fox was usually as clever and intelligent as her name, whatever Elisa thought of her personally ... "A look around? Upstairs? Wh ..." She looked at Bluestone again, calculating smile deepening. "Of course. Follow me ..." ~ And so far am I glad it so did sort, / As this their jangling I esteem a sport ... ~ He'd managed to duck inside an elevator, and as it dropped to the level of the Great Hall, allowed himself to lean against the wall in relief. *A spell. It's got to be some sort of spell. Demona isn't that good of an actress.* When he'd rebuffed her advances, laughed at her, she'd given new meaning to that famous phrase: "Hell hath no fury..." Now he wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss him or to kill him. Both, probably ... wasn't that how she usually felt about Goliath? *A spell...* Suddenly, the elevator jolted to a stop, the lights within dimming to near-total darkness. "What ... ?" The sound of applause echoed throughout the small chamber, seemingly coming from everywhere at once. "Oh, good! You figured it out!" "Who's there? Show yourself!" "Oh, no, I think not. As for the first ... a trickster, oh Xanatos. Like the native American Coyote. Better, of course, despite what _he'll_ tell you." "What do you want?" "Oh, a laugh or two, a bit of fun. Don't worry - I will let no harm come to you." The voice was wry. "I could not allow that, ah, no ..." "But sleep now, David Xanatos ..." ~ Then will two at once woo one; / That must needs be sport alone; / And those things do best please me / That befall preposterously... ~ The elevator ride was not ... very comfortable. First, Fox very nearly suceeded in shutting her out of the elevator. She apologized coolly, with little sincerity, when Elisa managed to slip through the doors in time ... and spent the rest of the ride shooting sparks at Elisa with her eyes as she realized that Matt was spending far more time gazing at his partner than at her. Bluestone, meanwhile, was still doing his worshipping puppy-dog inpression. Elisa was starting to have a very _nasty_ suspicion ... *No, it couldn't be. It _couldn't._* The elevator came to a stop, and she virtually ran out the doors into the Great Hall. David Xanatos came striding towards her, relief on his face. Relief? Usually he showed her no emotion other than a coolly amused superiority. "Detective Maza, thank ..." He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes on her face. *Oh, _no_...* ~What hast thou done? thou hast mistaken quite, / and laid the love-juice on some true-love's sight...~ Goliath had been following Elisa's car on its way to the Aerie ... when he abruptly found himself standing in the courtyard of the very castle. He felt oddly weak, as if he'd just awoken from stone sleep ... he'd actually had to catch himself from falling to one knee. Sleeping ... just as Elisa had appeared to in her car earlier. *Is this a sickness, then? Something that induces tiredness, amnesia, ...* he blinked *...burning eyes? What is ...* There was a woman, a gargoyle female, crouched over by the one of the windows. She appeared to be looking in intently, and id not so much as notice him ... His love for her had faded long ago, but as he saw her again this night, it all came rushing back ... "My Angel ..." Demona whirled at his quiet words, with a snarl like an angry cat. "You! You had your chance, you fool ... I love another, now!" He stepped towards her. "Another? Angel ..." For just a brief moment, something softened in her eyes, something remembered that had waited to hear that tenderness in his voice for so very long ... But it was no match for the rage. "No! My new mate, he is far more powerful in this modern world than you shall ever be!" He had also laughed at her, rejected her, but she was not about to tell Goliath that. "Who? Who is it?" A burning fury, a jealously most unlike him, had begun to rise ... Triumphantly, she pointed through the window at the tall man who was even now approaching Elisa Maza. "Him! Xanatos!" ~ Yet but three? Come one more; / Two of both kinds makes up four ... ~ "My ... dear ... Detective Maza, it is good to see you again ..." Elisa took a step back, her mind churning. A spell, the ultimate April Fool's prank ... and she thought she knew precisely who was capable of this ... Bluestone stalked past her, fists clenched and fury on his face. "Hey! What do you mean by that?" Xanatos gave him a cool glance. "Matt Bluestone, is it?" "Yes! It is! And what do you think ..." He continued to rail at the man. Fox gave Elisa another furious look, and followed him, attempting to pull him away from her husband. Elisa turned, intending to get away from them all until she had some sort of idea what to do ... But Xanatos started to follow her. Matt took a swing at him, and ... Glass shattered as a large and _very_ angry gargoyle burst through the window. Elisa's first reaction was to breath a sigh of relief. Surely Goliath could help her restore _some_ sort of order... Her second was, yet again ... oh, no. Goliath covered the distance between the window and Xanatos to two huge bounds, lifting the unsuspecting man clear off his feet. With a snarl, Demona followed him through the shattered glass ... and swiped at him with her talons. "Leave him alone!" Demona protecting Xanatos? Goliath flinched away from her, obviously unwilling to defend himself. She hissed and struck again. "No!" She knew who'd caused this - he'd done it before ... so Shakespeare said. "Puck! Stop it!!" The scene froze. Literally froze. Goliath backing away from the frenzied Demona, Xanatos still struggling in his grip, Matt mid-step in coming towards her, Fox ... Fox was sneaking up behind her, and heaven only knew what kind of weaponry that woman carried. She shivered. Into the stillness of the room, a faintly glowing mist crept ... "Thou speak'st aright; / I am that merry wanderer of the night ... " The familiar, diminutive figure appeared ... floating in the middle of the air before her ... complete with familiar maddening grin. "I wouldn't have let her harm you. Or Demona, Goliath, for that matter." It was all she could do not to throttle him. "Why?" "Why wouldn't I let any of you come to harm you, or why ..." He motioned around, including the entire scene. "... why all this? Well, for the first, you've all still got far too much to do in your lives ... and I don't condone murder, anyway. For the second ..." "You told Goliath yourself what day it is. April Fool's, the night when tricksters ...." Blue eyes glinted. "...rule. Usually, I'm bound by Oberon's laws, but not tonight. And I've been so booored lately ... " "Bored? You?" "You wouldn't believe me if I told you, Maza." The Fey turned a lazy backflip in mid-air. "I must admit, I miscalculated a little. I didn't realize Demona would react so ... violently ... to Xanatos. Although you should have seen it, her chasing him out of his office and throughout `ol Wyvern was pretty hilarious ..." She smiled despite herself. "... and then, of course, there was you ... and your reaction to the love-in-idleness." "Me? You didn't use it on me." "Oh, yes I did." Puck sat straight out, looked at her with eyes oddly compassionate. "Think about it, Maza. Nothing changed, for you." Almost before she could comphrehend that, he waved a hand. "Time enough for that later. `Tis almost midnight ... and the day of All Fool's will be done. I will put you back where you were before all this happened ... I think, perhaps, that there are friends looking for you, and let it never be said that the Puck would not allow others their fun as well ...." ~ If we shadows have offended, / Think but this, and all is mended, / That you have but slumber'd here / While these visions did appear. / And this weak and idle theme, / No more yielding but a dream, / Gentles, do not reprehend; / If you pardon, we will mend. / And, as I am an honest Puck, / If we have unearned luck / Now to scrape the serpent's tongue, / We will make amends ere long; / Else the Puck a liar call : / So, good night unto you all. / Give me your hands, if we be friends, / And Robin shall restore amends. ~ "..."illumination"..."Illuminati"..." Elisa blinked, sudddenly, and glanced at her partner. "Matt? You alright?" He glanced at her, puzzled. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" "I ... I don't know. Never mind." "Oh. Okay." He went back to the Illuminati theory of the moment, and she glanced back up into the night sky.... ~The end ****Advertisements and miscellany**** Editor's note: I'll put in notices of new fanfic and bulletins about online activities, but I don't do "commercial" advertisements -- i.e. profit-making ventures. Sorry! (Advertisements also don't run every week; expect them every few weeks or after a big rush of new subscribers.) * * * * * Title: The Drake Saga, episode 1: The Drake's Awakening Author: The Necromancer E-Mail: lavery@terra.nlnet.nf.ca The Drake's Awakening is about the struggle between the drakes and the gargoyles. The drakes are a new type of fearsome creature, a hybrid of gargoyle and dragon. With the help of a stranger from then future, they must battle in a fight strength and cunning. The three drakes, Xartan, Frostbite and Scalewing are the will stop at nothing to steal the Drivarum, and cast The Drake's Awakening. * * * * * For stories about non-disney gargoyles in the Disney universe, Brian Henderson runs the AGU-L listserv. Finished AGU-L fanfic is available at the web page: http://www.microsys.net/personal/bhend/agu .htm To subscribe to the AGU-L listserv, send a message to BHendrsn@kirk.microsys.net with the text: "subscribe garalt".You'll receive an introduction -- *read* it for the basic rules and instructions. Direct any questions to Brian at BHendrsn@kirk.microsys.net. * * * *