AVALON MISTS: A momentary escape from reality. Issue #2 First Released: Wednesday, February 28th ****Challenges**** Challenge #3: Brooklyn gets a date. Is she human, gargoyle, fey or none of the above? Humorous or romantic or sad... Challenge #4: Invent an odd relative or friend for one of our heroes or villains. Xanatos' grandmother, Elisa's crazy cousin... ****Alternate Episodes**** #1003: The Mists of Avalon send Goliath, Elisa, Bronx and Angela to a Jr. High School in Japan. There they meet Sailor Moon, the Sailor Scouts,and some guy named Tuxedo Mask. The Avalon quartet help them fight FOUR weird sisters from the Negaverse. --Elektra #1004: Ophelia and Brooklyn meet and fall in love. There's absolutely no doubt which kid is theirs... --Leva ****Limericks*** Oberon's Children, the fay, Are forbidden in our lives to play But they always find clauses In Oberon's Lawses And so have their fun anyway. --Nancy Brown (nancy@rat.org) Jeff Bennett, that multi-voice elf, Who gets paid just to talk to himself. Has only one woe: His girlfriends all go For heroes built like a brick shelf. --Nancy Brown ****Top Ten Lists**** "Top Five Ways to Instill Yet *More* Shakespeare into 'Gargoyles'" --Jill Morrison(MORRISJM@sbu.edu) 5.) Ophelia (from Avalon) has a 'friend' who becomes convinced that Tom and Katherine got rid of the Magus so that they could wed, and begins feigning madness in preparation for revenge ... 4.) Flash foward - in twenty or so years, Xanatos Jr. meets and falls in love with Goliath and Elisa's daughter (hey, I can dream, can't I?). Needless to say, the parents are *not* pleased, and tragedy ensues... 3.) Coldstone is in trouble when he suddenly develops two more personalities - named Cassio and Emilia. Iago, however, is ecstatic. 2.) Central Park is marching on MacBeth's manor, and he suddenly realizes that no gargoyle was ever "of woman born" ... And, the number one way to install more Shakespeare into "Gargoyles"... 1.) Puck & love potions - 'nuff said. * * * * * "Top Ten Places Avalon WON'T Send Them Next" --Stephanie Lostimolo (raptorl@usa.pipeline.com) 10. The Great Mall of America (Elisa FINALLY gets some NEW CLOTHES!!!!!) 9. McDonald's (Goliath: "Ah, we'll have 16 Big Macs, 27 orders of fries,and 4 milkshakes. Can I have some raw steaks with that?") 8. Las Vegas (Elisa: "Goliath, where's the Phoenix Gate?" Goliath: "Ah,ummm......well....I ran out of money, and, uh...") 7. The Tunnel of Love ('nuf said) 6. The Golden Globe Awards ("And the Award for MOST DRAGGED OUT PLOTLINE goes to...") 5. Jurassic Park (Angela tries to befriend the Velociraptors...) 4. MTV's Singled Out (Goliath: "Let's get rid of "Blue and Deranged.") 3. Ricki Lake ("Today we'll be talking about psychopathic homicidal 1000-year old ex-girlfriends...Goliath, let's start with you...") 2. Jeopardy (Angela: "I'll take 'Magical Talismans' for 500, Alex.") And the #1 Place Avalon WON'T Send Them Next: 1. Manhattan! * * * * * "Top Ten Dates You'll Never See (I think)" --Leva #10 -- The Weird Sisters and the Trio go out to the movies. #9 -- Demona and Coyote-the-Trickster go out for a night on the town. The town suffers. #8 -- Owen and Hyena compare notes about altered body parts over lunch. #7 -- Elisa meets Mulder. They do have an awful lot in common... #6 -- Brooklyn gets a date, any date. Poor guy. #5 -- MacBeth *ever* dates another flaming-red- haired lady without taking her out at night first...or finding out if *he* feels it when *she* stubs her toe... #4 -- Puck falls head-over-heels for Angela. Goliath is not amused. #3 -- Claw and Angela...oh, how sweet! #2 -- Thailog dumps Demona in favor of wooing Angela. Neither Angela nor Demona nor Goliath is amused... And the number one date you'll never see...you guessed it... #1 -- Elisa: Hey, Goliath, let's do dinner! ****Fanfiction*** Editor's Note: "Ook" is set in Terry Pratchett's Discworld. It's a response to challenge #2: Avalon deposits the Elisa, Goliath and Angela in a *very* unlikely spot... * * * * * "OOK" --Andrew Weitzman (a_weitz@alcor.concordia.ca) Picture a dinner plate as large as a world. Of course, few dinner plates employ terrapins as tables and elephants as place-settings. The meal heaped upon it is rather unusual too; it appears a waiter mistook "poulet au Napoleon avec sauce de vin" with "an order of continents marinated in seawater". The presentation is decidely eccentric. No minimal nouveau-cuisine here--the arrangement of foodstuffs bears the marks of a chef with much time and little sense. Someone should have complained to the management by now. The inhabitants of this odd little planet have done so. On many occasions. The "Suggestions Box" posted by the door is overflowing... In your mind's eye, bring your attention close to a circular sea near one edge of the main land-mass. A variety of fascinating civilizations, unique in every way, cluster about its shores. Each is aware of their individual qualities as nations. Lively forms of cultural exchange--usually involving sharp bits of metal--are commonplace. The one exception is a thriving metropolis at the northern end of the sea. Here,the members of different nations and species have decided to put aside their differences in the spirit of mutually beneficial commerce. Very often involving sharp bits of metal. Through the center of this city flows...or rather, oozes...a river. Over this river is a bridge. Sitting on this bridge is a figure. An orangutan. In a straw boater. He's fishing. **** "I wonder where Avalon's magic has brought us this time," Angela mused. "A Superfund Site?" Elisa suggested, gagging. The river the Mists had deposited them on certainly could have qualified for the attention of the EPA. Hell, it would have got the attention of the Strategic Air Command. A stench of unbelievable ripeness wafted up from the water's surface. The fragrance was composed of earth, slime-molds, and a gleeful disregard for the basics of sewage treatment. And I thought the East River was polluted, Elisa thought. She look astern at Goliath. The big gargoyle had his wings folded over his nose in a desperate attempt to stay conscious. The muscles in his arms strained as he tried to pole his way to shore. The operation was not very successful. Along with being odorous, the river was also solid mud. The skiff's punting staff disappeared into the questionable liquid with an ominous slurp. With each heave, their craft moved a scant ten inches. Elisa returned her gaze to the safe haven of the shore. Well, we're in a city this time. Probably Europe. The houses on the banks had that medieval feel she associated with Prague. Although there was a skyscraper over to the north-- "Uh, Goliath." She swallowed. "What is it, Elisa?" Goliath asked. He sat in the thwarts, glad for a momentary rest from his labors. "Do you think we somehow set off the Phoenix Gate by mistake?" "I do not believe so," Goliath replied, wrinkling his brow."Without saying the incantation, it will not work. Why do you ask?" "That's why." Angela and Goliath gasped. Their gaze followed the path made by Elisa's finger. What she had taken for an office building was anything but. A massive tower, its masonry twisted like a gnarled tree, rose untold hundreds of feet into the air. Parapets and crenellations dotted it like angry sores. "I hate time travel," Elisa grumbled. "No." Goliath shook his head. "I do not think this is the Gate's work. I have lived a thousand years ago, and have learned much of history within the collection of books by the clock tower. Never have I seen or read of such a wonder." "Question is--where *are* we?" **** The Librarian was enjoying his first attempt at angling. Fishing was a relaxing hobby. Especially when one fished in the Ankh. Aquatic life as mankind knew it had been extinct in this river for centuries. There were fish of a sort; they tended to be small, wary, and explosive on contact with fresh air. The serenity of fishing is enhanced when one never actually has to deal with fish. Serenity was a prized commodity this night. The books in the Library had been restless. Restless books are dangerous things--especially when said volumes are on the shelves of the Unseen University. The spells trapped in their pages like extremely irate butterflies leaked residual magic at the best of times. When aroused...well, the Librarian was a prime example of the consequences. Not that he *minded* being an orangutan. Bananas had taken a whole new spirtual dimension since his transformation. PARDON ME. A voice like the wheels of a tumbrel heading to the guillotine from behind him. The Librarian scrunched over to the left. One mitten of a paw patted the bulstrade by his side. NOT TONIGHT, I'M AFRAID. THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL MATTER. The Librarian glanced sharply at the hooded figure standing on the bridge. His new companion was on the skinny side. Skin and bones, actually. Sans the skin. Fingerbones the hue of yellowed ivory clutched a scythe. Its blade looked sharp enough to slice Time. Two fiery points of light like blue supernovas burned in the recesses of its hollow eye sockets. "Ook?" the Librarian asked. HMMM? OH, NOT YOU. Death drummed his skeletal hand on the parapet of the Brass Bridge. THIS IS OUTSIDE OF MY NORMAL LINE OF WORK, IN FACT. "Ook." I SEE YOU'VE ALREADY GUESSED. USUALLY ONE OF LESSER GODS WITNESSES DIMENSIONAL INCURSIONS, BUT THEY WERE ALL EMBROILED IN SOME SILLY DISPUTE INVOLVING A SACRED VACUUM CLEANER. "Ook." SORRY, I CAN'T GIVE THE DETAILS. THINGS WILL WORK OUT. THEY ALWAYS DO. Pause. THOUGH I THINK THINGS MAY PROVE INTERESTING THIS TIME AROUND. "Eek." Death found few things "interesting". It took something quite momentous to spark his curiosity. Apocalypses were always a sure-fire means. AH, THERE THEY ARE. Death peered over the edge. MY WORK--FOR NOW--IS DONE. "Ook." NEXT THURSDAY. I HAVE THIS NEW FLY I'M JUST *DYING* TO TRY OUT... ***** "Goliath? What's up there?" Elisa asked. "Er..." Goliath sounded confused. "Would you believe a hippopotamus?" "You'd be surprised." The itnerant Avalonauts had made landfall by the supports of a great bridge. Angela, Goliath, and Bronx hung by the claws from the stonework; Elisa clung to Goliath's shoulders in a death-grip. She peered past Goliath's head to the top of the bridge. Yep. A hippo. A statue of one, peering out to the sea with a slightly puzzled expression of vigilant attention. Okay, Elisa said to herself. Think logically. Where on Earth can one find a city out of the Dark Ages, a giant tower, and hippopotami? A nagging feeling told her "Earth" didn't exactly figure in the equation. The idea gained currency when a simian face appeared by the hippo. "Ook." Bronx snarled in alarm as the russet-furred ape grabbed Elisa by the collar of the jacket. Elisa caught her breath as arms with the muscle mass of a tractor-trailer set her on the flagstones of the bridge. It calmy turned to face Goliath and Angela, their eyes glowing in alarm,when they scrambled to the presumed defense of their human friend. "Hold on, guys!" she yelled. She squatted on her heels, squinting in the night gloom at the ape. "I think he's friendly." "How do you know?" Goliath inquired. "He just gave me a banana..." The End? * * * * * "In Their Dreams" -- Leva Mevis (levamevis@aol.com) Note: This is set approximately two years after Avalon ends, whenever that is. I said I wasn't going to do this story, but it demanded to be written. We'll never see this on TV; if nothing else, the censors aren't ready yet for interspecies romance. But one can dream... Second note: I wrote this before I saw "Ill Met by Moonlight." In fact, I wrote this the morning before I saw "Moonlight". I know there's now a non-canon bit in this. Brownie points if you catch it. * * * * * When had she stopped thinking of them as the gargoyles and had started thinking of them as *her* clan? Elisa wondered. It was a bright summer afternoon in June, and that question, and questions related to it, had been occupying her mind all day. It was her night off, fortunately, for she hadn't slept. And it had been a long day...if it wasn't the longest day of the year, it was very close to it. Had she first seen them as clan when Puck had turned her into a gargoyle and Goliath into a human? She'd seen the love in Goliath's eyes for the first time and recognised it for what it was then. He'd almost...he'd almost said something that neither of them were ready for, but dawn had overtaken them. Had she first seen them as clan later, during the weeks spent on that skiff with Goliath and Angela? Was there was specific incident, or had it just...happened? She laced her hands behind her head, lay back, and stared up at the puffy white clouds. It was true. Although she was human and they were gargoyle but there was no distinction in her mind. No "us" and "them". She saw them as a second family that she might as well have been born into. Her mother told her that she sometimes expected her eldest daughter to grow wings and turn to stone at dawn. Her mother was just teasing. Goliath and the others had won her family over a long time ago. Three years ago, when she had first seen Goliath, she hadn't even known he was sentient. She'd been suprised to hear him speak. She'd seen an animal, a big animal, a monster. And then her sense of justice had compelled her to protect him, to save his life at the risk of her own. She'd won his trust then, at a time when he had trusted no human. She never would have dreamed, then, that the big blue batwinged guy would grow to mean so much to her. They'd both...grown dependent on one another, over the last three years. They relied on one another for support, companionship; they confided in one another. But she hadn't realised how, how close they were, until this morning, a few hours before dawn. She'd been showing Goliath some trouble spots she wanted them to patrol. They'd landed on a rooftop to take a breather. Then Goliath had, quite absently, said, "Rookery sister, are you ready to go?" He'd realised immediately what he had said. They'd exchanged a startled look. Goliath's eyes had been wide, a bit frightened. Her own must have lit up until they fairly glowed. Brooklyn had grinned, whispered something to Lexington, and both had laughed. She thought she could guess what they had said...that if Goliath concidered Elisa a clan member, *truly* a clan member maybe *now* he would concider the next step. Oh, he had called her part of his clan for years. But there had always been the distinction of her humanity; an essential differance that set her a little apart. The term "rookery sister" meant, "agemate, friend, clan member" in a much deeper sense. Could he make the next step? Could she? It was one thing to be *friends*, quite another to be *clan* -- truly clan -- and still a third to admit... To admit that she wished it had been other words on his lips. Another phrase. "Puck," she muttered, "I wish you would pop in right about now..." She bit her lip. She didn't want to get what she wished for. She could imagine explaining her wings, claws and fangs to her boss... even if she did think that Chavez knew now about the, *ahem*, upstairs tenants. It was hard to keep a secret as big as the gargoyles. Morgan knew about the guys now; so did a few others. But it was one thing for the gargoyles to be a poorly kept secret; it would be quite another to be the first gargoyle detective... Anyway, she dreamed of that honor going to Broadway. The other option, of course, would be for Goliath to go human. But Goliath would never truly be happy as a human. He...was a gargoyle. He was bound by the traditions and beliefs and culture of his people; he was not and never could be a human. And the third -- to be human by day and gargoyle by night, like Demona -- no. It just...well, it might work but... But Puck had not come at her summons. So the point was moot. And anyway, it didn't matter. Human, gargoyle, or stone statue, Goliath would still be Goliath and she would still love him. "Oh, Goliath." Elisa rested her head against his stone arm. The sunlight had heated the living stone until it burned warm against her cheek. She sighed and sat back down. "I must be crazy to even concider...but oh, how I wish we could know happiness together...I wish we dared to dream..." Her eyes closed with sudden, unexpected drowsiness. Well, not unexpected. She hadn't slept. But she'd been fine a moment ago... * * * * * Goliath's roar at dusk awoke her. He looked to be in a merry mood. He jumped down off the wall and only then saw her. "Elisa!" He exclaimed, "What are you doing there?" She brushed her hair back. Sleeping on a cement slab had snarled it into a rat's nest; she probably looked like Medusa. (Though she didn't know what Medusa really looked like; Medusa was one of the very few magical beings they'd never met...) Ah, well, Goliath had seen her in far worse shape. While blinking the sleep from her eyes and tugging futilely at the tangles, she answered, "I came up to wait for you guys to wake, and I guess I fell asleep here. I coudn't sleep earlier." "You do not sleep enough." Goliath rumbled. She glared at him through a screen of tangled hair. It was one of his favorite nag lines. The only one she heard more was, "Be careful." He ignored her look of disgust. He studied her for a long moment, a strange,hesitant expression on his face. "Fly with me, Elisa." He held a hand out. Her heart did a rapid double-thump. There was an odd timbre in his voice. A strained sound. She allowed him to pull her upright, and scoop her up into his strong arms. Was it her imagination, or did he hold her just a bit closer than usual? It must be her imagination... But no. His face was now set with a granite, unreadable expression. It was his, "I'm not ready to talk about it" look. She knew him well enough to make a pretty good guess about what he didn't want to talk about. He didn't want to talk about a Maza. He would talk when he was ready. She draped an arm around his neck and let him fly aimlessly high above the clouds, high above Castle Wyvern. There were strong winds tonight. Finally, perhaps tired from fighting the gusting winds, Goliath landed in Central Park. He made no move to set her down; he stared across the lake and stewed silently. Every once in the while, his tail twitched through the grass. His wings settled slowly; one draped across her feet. The tension began to drain from his body; his jaw relaxed. He took a deep breath and heaved a familiar and expressive sigh. "Goliath," Elisa looked up at him. "Hey. Big guy. Tiny..." "I am not, 'Tiny'." Goliath rumbled at her. She grinned at him. "You're teasing me." He sounded affronted. She rested her head against his chest. "Yes." He sighed again and looked down at her. Then he closed his eyes for a moment and turned his head away. He was tense again; his brow was furrowed and the muscles in his jaw stood out. She rested a hand on his chest, "Goliath, you can talk to me." "Elisa..." He set her down on top of a small boulder beside the path. Her eyes were level with his. He folded his arms and draped his wings over them. "Elisa, I..." He paused, looked away, and gritted his teeth. "Goliath..." Her voice drew his head around. Their eyes met. His were full of hope and pain, fear and dreams. She knew hers were just as frightened; just as warm. It took more courage than she would have dreamt that she posessed, but she reached out and pulled him into an embrace. Goliath responded instantly, fiercely, hugging her with his arms and his wings as he never had before. It was as if he was afraid to let go; afraid that he would lose her if he released her. He was wordless, but when he stepped back, finally, reluctantly, the last of the nervous tension had drained from his stance. His hair was tangled by the wind; it blew forward in his eyes. "Detective Elisa Maza, I love you." He said, firmly and clearly. Those were the words she had dreamt of hearing for...for years, she realised. Since Puck, maybe since before Puck. And it felt...felt incredible to actually hear them. Her heart soared; her feelings must have been clear on her face, for Goliath's expression changed. Brightened. He grinned a silly grin. "I love you, too..." Her voice broke. His eyes lit up with sheer delight, then softened with love. She realised suddenly how much raw courage it had taken him to admit his feelings to her. Goliath had been hurt, very badly, by Demona's betrayal. Although he had trusted her with his life and his friendship, he had not trusted his *own* judgement of her feelings and his. Then an intense rush of feelings drowned her thoughts out; love and trust and deep joy swirled inside of her...they leaned closer... * * * * * A familiar roar jolted her. Goliath vanished. There was a hard surface under her head; one hand had gone to sleep. Elisa muttered a dirty word, and sat up. A dream. It had all been a lousy dream. She couldn't believe it; it just wasn't fair! "Good evening, detective." Goliath hopped down beside her. "You should sleep more." "Good evening, Tiny." She mumbled. Her hair was a mess. "Elisa, I am *not* Tiny!" Goliath sounded strange. A guy with blue skin should not have been able to blush, but Goliath was managing a close lavender approximation. Her own face must have mirrored similiar feelings. Her dream had been so real; she had believed he had...but no, it had just been a dream. "I had the strangest dream." Elisa laughed nervously. She had been about to *kiss* him! The image of his eyes, the delight and love in his eyes, lingered with her... Goliath muttered something. "What was that?" "As did I. I had a most unusual dream." Goliath admitted. "Was I in it?" Elisa held out a hand; Goliath pulled her to her feet. "Yes." Goliath said, but didn't elaborate. He paused, and studied her with an odd, sideways, uncertain look. He took a deep breath and held his hand out, "Fly with me, Elisa..." * * * * * Just above the hour hand of the clock face, a small blond faery floated with legs folded and a mischevious grin on his face. Meddling with mortals was fun. The Child of Oberon laced his hands behind his head and said to no one in particular, "The law that can't be broken can surely be bent..." The End