(to the tune of “Just the Way You Are” by Billy Joel,
1977)
As sung by Dr. Servarius
*
You’ll be changing, before you know it
DNA splicing is my game
I can imagine, your new appearance
And you won’t ever be the same
*
I only do this, to help improve you
Your chromosomes will bear the brunt
I took some samples, I’ll make some changes
I’ll make you just the way I want
*
Don’t go crying from reaction
Don’t hate what happened to your hair
You’ll always be my favorite creation
At least until I grow a spare
*
I don’t want simple manipulation
I never fail to be up-front
I just want someone that I can mutate
I’ll make you just the way I want
*
I need to know your family history
Genetic flaws and blood type too
What will it take ‘til you change freakishly
The way that all my subjects do
*
I said there’s no cure, it lasts forever
No matter how you roar and grunt
I have remade you so much better
I’ve made you just the way I want
*****