The Day the "Gargoyles" Died
A long, long time ago,
So
Did you read the book of spells?
We started singing:
Now for six months did we cry and moan
We were singing:
Hocus-pocus, are they trying to joke us?
We started singing:
Oh, once there was a voice-acting stew:
He was singing:
I met a writer who gave Lex "Blues,"
And on the Net, TGS was hyped,
And they were singing:
They were singing
by Melissa "Merlin Missy" Wilson
mrwilson@umr.edu, missy@darklair.com
Copyright 1997
To the tune of "American Pie" and with a nod to the Lady of
Shalott, who did this for TNG
I can still remember
How that series used to make me smile,
And I knew if Titania had her chance,
She'd set the others to her dance,
And have a happy ending in a while.
But then "Ransom" made me shudder
With every sentence Fox did utter;
Bad news on the t.v.
I didn't even want to see.
I still remember how I cried
Seeing Katharine by the Magus' side,
But something hurt me deep inside
The day the "Gargoyles" died.
Bye-bye, new American guys,
Drove the Fairlane in the fast lane
But the limo sped by.
In fanfic, Owen's drinking whiskey and rye,
Singing, "Nothing we can do but just sigh,
Nothing we can do but just sigh."
And do you fear the sound of iron bells?
How much Latin do you know?
Do you have Brooklyn rock and roll?
Does the Trickster have a mortal soul?
And can you explain "Avalon 2" real slow?
Well Elisa's in love with Goliath, too,
Cause we saw them kiss in "Hunter's Moon."
Two years is time to grow
And to let those feelings show.
We were lonely, teenaged and older fen,
With modems and electronic pens,
And we knew we'd never see this again
The day the "Gargoyles" died.
Bye-bye, new American guys,
Drove the Fairlane in the fast lane
But the limo sped by.
In fanfic, Owen's drinking whiskey and rye,
Singing, "Nothing we can do but just sigh,
Nothing we can do but just sigh."
At "Runaways" and decaying clones.
It wasn't like it used to be:
When the Puck stood up to his King and Queen,
When the Couple argued in "The Green,"
When Anubis offed Coyote Number 3.
Oh, and while Oberon was strutting 'round,
The animators changed the town:
The old backgrounds were burned,
And few writers returned.
And while "Egon Pax!" the doctor called,
The Trio turned to Turtles, all,
We watched our expectations fall
The day the "Gargoyles" died.
Bye-bye, new American guys,
Drove the Fairlane in the fast lane
But the limo sped by.
In fanfic, Owen's drinking whiskey and rye,
Singing, "Nothing we can do but just sigh,
Nothing we can do but just sigh."
"The Journey" left with all the show's old focus,
The Nielsons are down and falling fast.
We turned to fanfic to ease the woe,
But little idea where next to go,
Like our Trickster, trapped without our magic glow.
"City of Stone" reruns like sweet perfume,
While Vinnie hums the title tune.
In "Beholder" we saw them dance,
But now they don't have a chance
Because ABC's a whole new field;
The S&P folks refuse to yield.
No more secret identities revealed
The day the "Gargoyles" died.
Bye-bye, new American guys,
Drove the Fairlane in the fast lane
But the limo sped by.
In fanfic, Owen's drinking whiskey and rye,
Singing, "Nothing we can do but just sigh,
Nothing we can do but just sigh."
"Next Generation" cast and crew,
With other Trekkers tossed right in.
So come on, Jeff be Owen.
It's just our luck:
Jeff jumped ship for "The Mighty Ducks,"
And now all the voices sound like Jim.
Oh, and as I read the post on chat:
"The show's been dropped," my sails went flat.
Not even the Grimorum's spells
Could shake me from this hell,
And as the word went out that very night,
We knew that we could no longer fight.
I saw Eisner laughing with delight
The day the "Gargoyles" died.
Bye-bye, new American guys,
Drove the Fairlane in the fast lane
But the limo sped by.
In fanfic, Owen's drinking whiskey and rye,
Singing, "Nothing we can do but just sigh,
Nothing we can do but just sigh."
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and wrote some more.
I went down to castle.net,
Where I'd heard stories I might get,
But Chris there said, "If you want it, go ask Gore."
The roleplayers drank,
And the authors typed.
The Gathering's still coming
So we can look forward to something,
For the writers whose words the actors read:
Michael, Brynne, and Greg the head,
Went to write for Dreamworks instead
The day the "Gargoyles" died.
Bye-bye, new American guys,
Drove the Fairlane in the fast lane
But the limo sped by.
In fanfic, Owen's drinking whiskey and rye,
Singing, "Nothing we can do but just sigh,
Nothing we can do but just sigh."
Bye-bye, new American guys,
Drove the Fairlane in the fast lane
But the limo sped by.
In fanfic, Owen's drinking whiskey and rye,
Singing, "Nothing we can do but just sigh,
Nothing we can do but just sigh."
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